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David Bell
David Bell

The Best Of The Blow Monkeys Rar


Bored Ape Yacht Club launched in April 2021 for a mint price (pre-sale price) of .08 ETH or $200 at the time. It took four months for the project to blow up and reach an average sale price of $89,602 in August 2021.




The Best Of The Blow Monkeys Rar



Jis' es I 'spected, durn 'em, all git drunk, an' skeerthar fool sefs ni ontu deth, an' then lay hit ontu me, apoor innersent youf, an' es soun' a belever es they is.Lite, lite, ole feller an' let that roan ove yourn blow alitil, an' I'll 'splain this cussed misfortnit affar: hit hesruinated my karacter es a pius pusson in the s'cietyroun' yere, an' is a spreadin faster nur meazils. Whenever yu hear eny on 'em a spreadin hit, gin hit the damlie squar, will yu? I haint dun nuffin tu one ove 'em.Hits true, I did sorter frustrate a few lizzards a littil,but they haint members, es I knows on.


Well, nite cum, an' arter we hed lay down, Irishstole hissef anuther suck outen the barlm ove life kaig,an' cum an' jis' rooted his way in atween me an' Jim,an' fix'd hissef fur a big sleep, went at hit imejuntly,an' sot up a systim ove the infunelest snorin yu everhearn; hit wer the dolefulest, skeeriest soun ever blownouten a human nose. The cussed allfired ole posholedigger snored in Irish!


Well, he aimed tu run past a tin peddlin waggin'what was a-standin in the street, with a fuss-rate set oveold live hoss bones atween the shafts, while the Yankeewus in the doggery, a-firin up tu leave town. Jist ashe got clost tu the carryall, the powder cotch fire' an'soon arterwards went off, an' so did he, head fust, frog fashion, rite thru the top load ove tin war. He lit arunnin ten foot tuther side; his coat-tails wur blowedoff tu his shoulders, the hine aind ove his galluses wusraped round his neck, the tale ove his shut wus loose,an, up in the air thirty feet, still a-risin an' blazin like akomit; his britches hung loose on the frunt side, likeontu a forked aprun, while the sittin part ove em wusblowed tu kingdom cum, and so wur everything elsebelongin tu that regin, while his back wus as black asa side ove upper lether. It rained tin buckets, an'strainers, an' tin cups, an' pepper boxes, an' pans, an'stage ho'ns, all over that street, fur two minits an' a 'alf.


Now that explosion, an' the tin war ratlin an' arainin, made a rite peart noise, specially ove a still dayin fac, enuf tu wake up the ole hoss bones an' gin himthe idear that he'd best leave town quick; so he laidhis years back an' straitened out his tail an' shot. Hemade kindlin-wood outen the waggin agin a sine-post,an' betuck hissef tu the woods, stretched out abouttwenty feet long, an' not mor'n three feet high on thewithers, with jis about enuf harness stickin tu him tumake a cullar for a bell cow


As she smack's her han's, I pull'd the string. Thestinkabus begun tu roll an' rise, an' spread. Oh mylordy! lordy! Pimple-face wall'd up his eyes, coff'dblow'd his nose in his hankecher, an' sorter looked behinethe preacher, like he 'spected tu see a buzzard, oran' onbelever, or sich like, atween him an' the wall.


Well, when I'd got off about thuty yards, I venter'dtu look back. Thar he stood, the' mos' orful picterove onregenerated rash, mortal man ever seed. Helooked like he'd weigh five hundred pounds; he werswell'd all over, ni ontu bustin, an' the door wer chockfull ove him, all in a strut. His arms stuck out like asettin hen's wings, his hat cocked before, his feet wideapart, an' he wer a-lookin at me sure enuf. Themspecks blazin like two red lamps, his lips a-flutterin eshe blow'd out the hot breff an' foam ove his onbearabilpent up rash, what my onekeled an' on-hearn oveimperdence tu him, the perpryiter hed sot a-bilin in hisin'ards, ontil he wer ni ontu burnt out, thru tu the har,an' waiscoat. The smoke ove his torment wer a-cuminout in whiffs frum his breeches pockets, an' buttonholes.


Squire Hanley wer one ove the wonderfulest menin all my knowin. He wore a hat ten years, an' worea nail in the chuch wall bright, a-hangin hit on. Hewore a holler spot in the side ove his walkin-stick, wifhis finger allers tetchin the same place, an' he woreanuther greasy holler in one ove the groanin bainches,ni ontu the noth corner ove the pulpit, jis' like the sittinhole in a shoemaker's stool, only hit warn't linedwif leather. His pea-sticks wer shod wif spikes, hisfire wood wer clar ove knots es waggen timber, hishens never laid on a Sunday, an' sot when he told emto. He gin the hole ove Sunday tu the Lord, an'shaved notes two days onder the skin ove weekly days,an' allers made the feller what got shaved, wait an' gitprayed fur, an' he throw'd intu the bargin a track urtwo, about the vanity ove layin up store goods onyeath, fur the moths et the broadcloths, an' the thievesstole tuther things. He toted the munny-puss ove thechuch, an' histed the tchunes an' the backsliders. Hewer secon enjineer ove a mersheen, made outen a messove sturgeon-backed, sandy-heeled ole maids, devarsedwives, ur wimen what orter been wun ur tuther; an'uther thin minded pussons, fur the pupus, es they sed,ove squelchin sin in the neighborhood, amung sichdomestic heathins es us, but raley fur the mindin giner'llyove everybody else's bisness. I forgot tu menshunhis nose, hit wer his markin feetur; no uther mortilever hed heart tu tote jis' sich anuther nose. The skinofen hit wud a-kivered a saddil, an' wer jis' the riteculler fur the job, an' the holes looked like the bow-ports ove a gun-boat. He waded in onst tu stop a bigfite at muster, in a Christian way, an' a feller broke adorg-wood hanspike ur a chesnut fence-rail, I'se forgotwhich, acrost that nose, an' twenty-seven bats, an'three kingfishers flew outen hit. The lick only madethe Squire blow hit tolabil strong, scatterin roun a peckove cobwebs, an' muddauber's nestes, an' he went ona-stopin ove the fite. He wer on his way tu chuch thatmornin, an' hearin orful souns, he struck thru thebushes tu 'zamine intu hit, bein his juty es greaser ovethe squelchin s'ciety. 350c69d7ab


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